One of the toughest conversations to have with children is a plan for divorce in your family. Though the conversation is difficult, it is extremely important to prepare your children for the upcoming changes and let them know what is happening.
Tip #1 – Plan The Conversation And Do It Together
If possible, both parents should be available for that conversation and plan how that conversation should go. This is best for the children. They need to see you work together even though you are splitting up. This can also help dispell misunderstandings that might arise if they hear mom’s reason and then later dad’s, or vice-versa. This way, everyone is on the same page and confusion is decreased for the children.
Tip #2 – Prepare Your Kids For The Upcoming Changes
To help your kids adjust, let them know what to expect. Who is moving out of the house? If dad is moving out of the house, where is he going to be living? How often will they be with each parent? Where will they sleep? Will they have to change schools? Is another family member moving in to help? Is a stay-at-home mom going to be working now?
Make the preparations for upcoming changes very detailed so that your children have stability and structure to hold on to. Even if things will be different, consistency and routine will help.
Tip #3 – Don’t Blame Anyone
When it comes to talking to your kids – keep the blame-game at bay. Your kids are already dealing with a lot and it isn’t fair to add blame to the table. Save the finger-pointing for conversations with your adult friends and help your children find comfort and peace in your communication with them.
Tip #4 – Don’t Push Your Kids To Talk
If your kids start asking questions right away, be open and prepared to answer – but don’t force the conversation out of them. They may need time to process the information before they have questions. They may feel angry and need some time to calm down. Let your kids know that you are there to answer any questions or to talk, but let them do it on their own terms. Just stay available and open for communication.
The team at Lasiter and Jackson cares very much for families and for the well-being of those who are affected by a divorce. Our team in Phoenix Arizona wants to help divorcing couples reach a satisfactory result that is the most stable and comfortable for everyone involved. Don’t hesitate to reach out about our services today!