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On the surface your partner may seem perfect for you — but dig a little deeper and you’ll find that’s definitely not the case.
Below, experts share eight signs your Mr. or Ms. Right is all wrong for you and you may be headed for divorce or Mediation.
1. They roll their eyes at you.
If they’re doing it now, in public or in private, it’s only going to get worse later on, said Marcia Naomi Berger, a psychotherapist.
“In effect, a partner who behaves this way is being both disrespectful and disloyal,” she said. “If your partner is annoyed with you, then looks to whoever else is in the room with a knowing glance to imply that you’re being ridiculous, he’s allying himself with the wrong person. Loyalty should lie first and foremost with each other, even when imperfections surface.”
2. They’re withdrawn from the start.
“Does she vanish into the ether when you have a personal problem? Does he sulk and storm out of the room when you try to resolve a squabble? If so, then you’re with the wrong person,” she told HuffPost. “Chasing after someone who’s emotionally unavailable will just make the other person feel smothered — and withdraw further — while you seethe with resentment.”
3. They’re too dependent.
It’s natural to want to spend every waking hour together in the beginning — but if you want to keep things interesting and fresh, you need to have separate lives and identities, said Kristin Davin, a New York City-based psychologist.
4. They’re attached to their cell phone.
It may not be as bad as physically cheating, but choosing your smartphone over your partner is a form of cheating, said Marina Sbrochi, the author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life.
“What’s missing is their presence,” she said. “It’s as if you can see your partner, but they don’t see you and you aren’t interacting with them.
5. They aren’t straight with you about their plans for the future.
The two of you should feel comfortable discussing the important questions in a relationship: If and how you’ll raise the kids; how involved your families will be in your lives; your idea of budgeting. If your S.O. gets fidgety whenever you bring up the future, you may be in for a world of surprises as your connection deepens, Sborchi said.
6. They play the victim.
Walk, don’t run, if your new boo has a long list of grievances against everyone they’ve ever dated or been in a relationship with, Gilbert said.
“It’s worrisome if all his exes were ‘crazy’ or everyone close to him has let him down,” she said. “If the person with whom you hope to spend the rest of your life blames all their problems on other people or circumstances, guess what’s in store for you? An apocalyptic divorce and custody battle.
7. They’re not on the same page as you financially.
If you can’t get it together financially, there’s a good chance that you’re not going to be together in the long run, Davin said. Studies have shown that financial problems are a main contributor to divorce. Mediation is a good alternative.
8. They stonewall you.
Stonewalling occurs when one partner withdraws from the interaction or argument, closing themselves off to what the other has to say. If your S.O. walks away when you ask them to put the dishes away or go to a family get-together, expect more of the same later on, Berger said.
If you need help with divorce or mediation, contact LASITER & JACKSON.
Source: Brittany Wong, Huffington Post.
