The process of a divorce has been described as one of the most stressful events in a persons life. For many, the stress is likely to continue for many years following completion of the divorce. This is especially true when there are children involved. As such, life as a divorced parent can be far more difficult than it was being married. The existence of children bind ex spouses together for the rest of their lives. When dealing with a combative ex spouse, you are likely to find yourself in constant dispute regarding decisions that involve your children. Your reaction to these dispute will play a significant role in the upbringing and best interest of your children. Several steps can be taken to ensure you are dealing with these disputes the best way possible.
10 Steps to Dealing with a Combative Spouse:
1. Brief and Factual Communication:When communicating with your ex spouse, oftentimes saying less can be more. Stick to the facts, give only necessary information.
2. Eliminate Money Talk:Have wages garnished to avoid money disputes. Additionally, keep the financial aspects of the divorce away from the children. Doing so will eliminate unnecessary stress in their lives.
3. Privacy:In this new age of technology, communication in writing has become increasingly more efficient and effective. In the event legal intervention becomes necessary, documented communication via email or text message will allow your legal team to better advocate on your behalf in court.
4. Self-Control:If you receive communication from your ex that is nothing more than an attack, it is best to not respond. You should also avoid initiating communication if you find yourself to be in an agitated mood. If the communication is urgent, take a moment to reflect on what you have written before sending it.
5. Self-Awareness:Your ex likely knows what makes you tick and loose your temper. Know this when communicating with them to better avoid unnecessary arguments or anger.
6. Respect the Custodial Schedule:Consistency for the children post-divorce is critical. Minimize the need to ask for favors in the custody schedule, only doing so when absolutely necessary.
7. Respect Custodial Time:Respect your ex’s parenting time and avoid contacting your children during that time, limiting contact to only one time per day.
8. Eliminate Tensions for the Children:If your children have extra-curricular activities during your ex’s custodial time it is best you do not attend them. This will avoid any potential disputes and allow your children to focus on themselves. If you absolutely must go, it is best to observe in an area far away from your ex.
9. Have Integrity:Be cordial and friendly to your ex when seeing them around your children. Doing so will alleviate uncomfortable tensions and the creation of loyalty conflicts.
10. Worry About Your Own Life:Know that you cannot control what your ex chooses to do in his or her life. Allow them to be free and focus on living your own life.
If issues between you and your ex continue to persist, legal intervention may become necessary. When dealing with high-conflict post-divorce issue, you are strongly encouraged to seek the assistance of a qualified family law attorney. With over 30 years of combined experience, the attorneys at Lasiter & Jackson will aggressively represent your interests in any post-divorce proceeding. Contact us today to schedule a free 30-minute consultation.
Source: Huffington Post, “10 Steps to Dealing With a Combative Ex: How to Protect Your Children” Sherrie Campbell, PhD, Apr. 24, 2014