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We frequently acknowledge and honor how challenging divorce can be. However, some of the biggest mistakes people make in divorce include believing that they have no control over the process’s outcome and that the process must be deeply stressful. Divorce marks a significant transition between periods of a person’s life. The majority of how the process will affect a person’s life is truly up to him or her.

When trying to avoid unnecessary pain or drama caused by the divorce process, it is critical to keep your emotions in check. That is not to say that you should avoid grieving, fail to get angry or deny feeling overwhelmed. On the contrary, it is beneficial for you to express these emotions in healthy ways so that they do not overtake your divorce negotiations.

If you allow your emotions to overtake the process, you could be tempted to give in to your spouse’s demands on issues that matter to you or you could be tempted to sabotage a process that is advancing fairly amicably. The truth of the matter is that only you can control your part in the process and only you can determine how the process will affect you.

It is advisable to build up as much support and time for self-care during this time as possible. Punching a weighted bag at the gym may keep you from feeling the need to bang your fists on the negotiating table. Speaking with a trusted friend, therapist or online community can help you avoid venting in court. Divorce can be undeniably challenging. But how that challenge is met is ultimately up to you.

Source: Huffington Post, “The 5 Worst Mistakes We Make During A Divorce,” Dr. Jeff Gardere, Feb. 18, 2013


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