DIVORCE MYTHS – Debunked!
Myth #1: One in two marriages ends in divorce.
Chances are you have been warned about the dreaded 50% statistic. So are is it true? Not exactly. The dissolution rate has been steadily decreasing since the 1980s. A more accurate rate for American marriages ranges from 40% to 50%. Keep in mind: This factors in people who marry over and over again which drives up the rate.
Myth #2: Living together before marriage lowers the chance of divorce.
This fable’s popularity may be connected to the fact that it makes sense. Actually, the circumstances under which you decide to move in together make all the difference, says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage. If cohabitation occurs out of necessity (say, your partner lost his job and can’t afford to live on his own), the experience doesn’t benefit the relationship.
Myth #3: Second marriages are more likely to last than first marriages.
Again, this myth seems logical. After all, you’d learn a lot from a first marriage that you can apply to a second marriage. And wouldn’t you be more cautious about agreeing to tie the knot again? In reality, giving marriage another go definitely ups the chances of a break-up. Roughly 67% to 80% of second marriages end in divorce, while third marriages crumble at an even higher rate.
Myth #4: Divorce is incredibly expensive.
It’s easy to fall for this when you constantly see headlines about your favorite celebrities. Thankfully, those costly cases aren’t the norm. As long as the two parties involved amicably agree on who gets what and don’t head to court each time to make a decision, the fees are manageable. If the case isn’t likely to go as smoothly, settlement conferences and mediation can be a more affordable route as conflict resolution is less expensive than conflict escalation.
Myth #5: All ex-wives get alimony.
Alimony is money that one spouse is legally obligated to pay the other, either over time or in one lump sum. Not all cases involve alimony. Alimony is granted when one spouse, wife or husband, is financially dependent on the other. But alimony may not be granted even if the spouse wasn’t working during the marriage-if she/he has the skill set and physical ability to find a job that pays as well as her ex’s. Another kind of spouse who may not receive alimony: one who wasn’t married that long.
Myth #6: The mother almost always gets custody of the children.
It is a widely held belief that mothers should always get custody. Legally, though, that is not the case. Even if the mom is the child’s primary care giver throughout the marriage, both parents are entitled to frequent and meaningful time with the kids. The best interest of the child also could preclude a mom from gaining custody if a judge doesn’t deem that the mother meets the state’s standards for being a fit parent. If both parents are fit to raise the child, they’re typically granted shared custody.
Myth #7: The US’s divorce rate is higher than every other country’s.
Not true. According to the United Nations’s Demographic Yearbook, the US has the sixth-highest dissolution of marriage rate. Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova and the Cayman Islands take the top five spots in that order. As for the lowest rates, marriages in Sri Lanka, Brazil and Italy seem to stand the test of time. I
f you need a divorce in Phoenix, Arizona, please contact the attorneys at Lasiter & Jackson.
Original article appeared on WomansDay.com.